Monday, January 21, 2013


Five days before Christmas, I came down with the stomach virus.  It wasn't as terrible as it could have been, but still no fun.  Thankfully neither Chris nor Lucy got it!  Maybe it was something I ate?  It made me miss the last day before break.  How unfortunate, right?!

However, four days before Christmas, Lucy started acting weird...  It was Friday night and she had already gone to bed, but she woke up SCREAMING!  I went and got her, and she wanted to get down immediately.  She started pacing around her room as if she was nervous.  I tried to rock her, she didn't want to.  I tried to sing to her, she didn't want me to.  I tried giving her some bread, she didn't want to eat.  She didn't even want to drink.  She felt a little warm, but our thermometer registered no temp for her.  Then I noticed her shaking.  Like a nervous shake.  It worried me, but she eventually calmed down and passed out in my arms.  The next morning we were on our way to Newnan for Christmas with my family.  Lucy was running some fever, I could tell.  And she was very cranky!!  She slept most of the morning while Chris and I packed and most of the way to Newnan.  When we finally arrived, mom suggested we take her to the pediakare for kids place there.  I agreed.  By this point, her fever was sweltering at 102.7!  She tested negative for flu.  They assumed it was RSV, but said there was nothing they could do and sent us home.  This would make her second Christmas ever, and her second Christmas with RSV!

We ended up spending that night in Newnan so we could at least exchange gifts, and came home early the next day (Christmas Eve-Eve). Lucy was pitiful.  Still running fever.  Still not eating.

Christmas Eve was no different.  No improvements. We took her in to see Dr. Samper, who tested and confirmed for us that she did have RSV.  My heart was beginning to break.

The next day was Christmas, and I hoped and prayed all night that she would somehow feel a little bit better.  Enough to open and enjoy her presents that Santa had brought her.  She woke up very cranky and unhappy though.  Again, my heart broke.  She cried at her presents, hit them away, and screamed to go back to bed.  We attempted taking her to MaMa and Pops for their family Christmas thing, but Lucy was so sick, she and I came home early and she slept the whole rest of the day and all night that night. 

The day after Christmas, I called Dr. Ivey who was finally back on call.  He asked us to bring her in so he could see for himself what we were dealing with instead of going on hearsay.  We took her at 10:00 and I cried at the thought of them possibly having to put her in the hospital. 

I had read that while lots of children have RSV, only1-2% have to be hospitalized with it.  And of that 1-2% only a few cases are fatal.  WHAT??!?  That's part of what I get or googling, but my mommy heart felt scared that if she were already one of the 1-2%, what's keeping her from becoming one of the further few?

Dr. Ivey listened to her breathe, and monitored her oxygen (89%) and suggested we go across the street to the hospital to monitor her and help her get some oxygen to help her breathe a little easier.  My heart continued to break, and at those words, I felt like it was becoming harder for ME to breathe!    I felt guilt that we had not come in sooner, relief that she was finally getting the help she needed, and fear for what was to come.  

We had to come home and pack and really waste 45 minutes while they got her room ready.  I was a nervous wreck.

We got to the hospital and took her vitals, started her IV, etc.  it seemed we had to wait forever to receive orders from Dr. Ivey though, and until then, they couldn't even give her anything to drink.  Poor baby was thirsty!  The only thing I had with me was a jamocha shake from Arby's.  She sucked it down! 

Finally they received orders and her medical care was able to get going!  They monitored her oxygen level through a little monitor taped around her big toe.  It was hooked to a machine, and I learned quickly which numbers to watch.  They wanted her levels to be and stay at or above 95% on her own.  Lucy was at 89%.  Slowly, that number dropped, and I would alert the nurse each time.  Sh alerted respiratory.  I watched it drop from 89% - 87%.  The nurse said we needed to try to keep her awake, because oxygen levels naturally drop when we sleep, but Lucy was so tired.  The number dropped to 85% and she again paged respiratory.  As I watched that number drop to 83%, the nurse called for respiratory STAT, and we tried desperately to keep Lucy awake.  She was exhausted though.  She had not eaten in 5 days, and was just so so sick.  I was shaking her, singing to her, and stroking her hair.  She was limp and her eyes closed.  I prayed for God to not take my baby from me just yet.  I was not finished loving her here.  Chris finally said "Lucy, peek-a-......" And Lucy replied with the faintest and saddest sounding "boo."

Eventually respiratory came and Lucy found some fight in her as they attempted to put the oxygen mask on her.  She eventually gave up the fight and I was able to slip it on and tighten it to stay.  They wheeled us down to X-ray to check for pneumonia (which turned out clear), and we spent the remainder of our time in the room.

I curled up next to her and never left her side.  They said by law they had to have a crib in the room for her to sleep in, but I let her sleep in the hospital bed so I could lay beside her all day/night.  I wanted to watch her breathe.  And if I slept, I wanted to feel her breathe.  I did end up sleeping some, but not for long.  

MeMaw ended up coming and staying the night, too.  It was so much help having my mama there, because I was so scared!  

They kept bringing us both food, but neither of us ate it.  She didn't have her appetite back yet, and I just wasn't hungry from stress.

She had great nurses while she was there.  Each shift change made me nervous to see who we old get next, but each shift change brought an even better nurse than before.  Her last nurse was so sweet, trying anything and everything to get Lucy to eat.  She even went as far as to make Lucy a milkshake, since she had eaten some of mine the day before.  Lucy didn't want to eat the milkshake either, but that was okay.  Our goal was just to get her breathing on her own, and that we did!  Once she was able to nap and sleep without the oxygen mask in, but keep her levels at or above 95%, they let us go home!

Coming home was a relief, but I was still nervous.  She finally was able to enjoy some of her toys that Santa had brought, and started to eat animal crackers.

It wasn't the Christmas hi days we expected, in fact neither of her Christmases have been as she's been 2 for 2 with being pretty badly sick both times, but at least we got to spend them together and that she ended up healthy and well in the end!  :)