Mom Fail

I post a lot of pictures on facebook and instagram and even write posts on this blog that make our little life seem so perfect.  And it is, in more ways than we deserve and most days are just as peachy as the pictures and posts appear to be.  But some days are bummed days -- days you wish you could just start over, and not because you enjoyed them, but because you feel like you needed to give it another go.

 

Today was not a great day.  Today was not even a good day.  I hollered way too often and lost my patience more times than I should have.  I got frustrated and angry way too easily.  So why am I blogging about it?  Why am I choosing to remember days like this?  Because one day, Lucy will hopefully have children of her own, and every day won't be peachy for them, and I want her to know that it's not just her.  That other mom's -- even her own -- went through the same thing.

 

Lucy's almost two -- like, in 51 days almost two -- and she's just recently become VERY independent.  She wants to walk rather than be carried, wants to put on and take off her own shoes, and even wants to climb in her own chair at dinner.  The only time she allows you to help her is when she realizes she has exhausted all of her own options and says "helps."  I LOVE that she has become so independent and self-willed and I really, really, really want to encourage it because in my profession, I see way too many children who can't do for themselves, because their mamas have done for them for so long.  I also want to instill in her that she is capable to do for herself and shouldn't wait around for someone to do for her.  But at the same time, I get so frustrated because as she's learning and experimenting and creating, she's making messes that I can't clean up after fast enough, and hurting herself before I can catch her falls.  And I feel helpless.  I feel like I should be able to clean her messes, encourage her individuality and independence, catch her falls, kiss her boo-boos, help her develop her creativity, show her cause and effect, teach her, read to her, and on and on and on without missing a beat.  And most days -- that's the way it happens.  But not today.

 

Today was a bad day.  But bad days need to happen because they help put me back on track, give me a perspective of what I need to work on, both with her and myself as a mother, and remind me that my life isn't picture perfect -- but rather that it's the imperfections that make it perfect for me. 

 

I love my daughter with half my heart and my husband with the other.  They're all I need -- especially on a bad day.

 

Memorial Day 2013

Today is Memorial Day AND the 1st day of summer vacation!! :)

I am SO excited to spend this summer with Lucy.  Last summer, we were so busy looking for houses, getting ours ready to sell, selling the house, buying our new house, packing our stuff, moving into Cindy & Smiley's, and then into the new house, planning Lucy's 1st birthday party, hosting Lucy's 1st birthday party, and fitting in summer trips that we didn't have much time to just PLAY!!  Besides, Lucy had her helmet, and well... it was just too hot.

This summer though... It's just me and my girl!!  Even though I do have to spend some of my break time going up to the school to move me into my new classroom, most of my days will be spent soaking up the summer sun outside our new house!

Lucy is so cute these days -- every day she is talking more.  I feel like I've said that same thing the last several posts, but it's true.  She's not just repeating us, but talking TO us and it's fantastic!  In fact, just earlier today, I stepped on a nail that was sticking slightly out of the back deck.  I said "Ow!" and kind of hopped a little bit.  She ran straight to me and said "Mama, you foot hurt?" It was the sweetest.  Just a couple of nights ago, we came in from a late night of being outside, and I couldn't remember where I had set my phone down before I started rocking her.  I called out to Chris "Can you find my phone? I think it's in Lucy's room -- or maybe our room."  About four songs in to being rocked, you sat up and said "Where phone, Mommy?" and I said "I don't know." You then asked "Daddy find it?" So I had to ask Chris if he found it, to which he said he did, before you would lay back down -- it was really the sweetest that you tuned into our conversation and cared enough to ask about it for me.  Chris is also building my some bookshelves for my room, we were out in the garage late the other night working on them, and she kept picking up tools, screws, nails, etc. bringing them to us and saying "I helps! Okay!"

Lucy's absolute favorite t.b. (tv) show right now is Blues Clues -- in fact, that's what her birthday party theme is going to be.  It's been off the air for quite some time and so it's been a fun challenge to find items to help decorate the party with.

Lucy asks to sing the "Apple Song" every night after we say her prayers..  She LOVES that song!
Oh, I like red -- it's the color of an apple.
Orange -- it's the color of an orange.
Yellow -- it's the color of our beautiful sun, sun, sun!
Green -- it's the color of the trees & lots of things that grow
We've got blue for the skies
and Purple is a color that's fun, fun, fun!
And when you put those colors side by side, now what do you think we've done?
We've made a rainbow!  And it's a really beautiful one!

Then we sing our nightly routine of songs -- Stay Awake, La La Lu, I love you Lucy Pearl, I love you Little Girl, Somewhere Over The Rainbow, A Dream is A Wish Your Heart Makes.

During one of the "I love you little girl" song, it names different parts of the body I love on you -- "I love your hair, I love your toes, and I love the way you wrinkle your nose." As I sing them, you point to them on yourself.  Then it says "I love your personality" to which you think I'm saying "teeth" and chomp your teeth together, and then "I love that you were born a she." A lot of times, you like to sing with me and the other night at that part, you sang it with me and said "I love that you were born a SHEEP!"  It was so funny I couldn't keep singing for laughing so hard!

Then the next night, we were singing "A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes" and you were singing with me and we got to the part that says "Have faith in your dreams and someday" -- well, apparently you thought we sang "Sunday" because you kept going with "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday..." it was again, so funny I had to stop singing and just laugh!

When I laugh at the funny things you do, you'll laugh with me and say "I funny!"

You love playing chase around the house and when we come around a corner you're not expecting us, you'll jump back and laugh and then say "You scared me!"

You adore your new kitty, "Meow" and she adores you, too.  You are so rough with her -- not because you mean to be, but because you don't know.  She just lets you.  You pick her up, upside down, and walk around with her.  Toss her into your car -- to which she immediately jumps out of and you turn around so frustrated and say "MERE CAT!!!" She lets you dump water on her from your new water table, and follows you wherever you go. :)

You are only 22 months old, but you can count to ten (and do it often!), sing your ABCs, recognize every letter of the alphabet, know all of your shapes, all sorts of sounds that animals make, know all of your colors, and have very nice manners -- we couldn't be more proud of you, Cee-Lee! :)